What I was Thinking When I saw Gatsby for the First Time After Marrying Tom

I was confused why Nicky had invited me over for tea but had insisted that I come alone. I did not have a thought process. My thoughts were everywhere. What could he be up to? When I saw Gatsby, everything rushed back to me. I thought of him and I sitting in the car in front of my house in Louisville before he went off to war. Those were the happiest days of my life. I was ever so confused though, why was he here? What did he want? I was so happy to see him but I could not express it. As him and I got more comfortable being with each other once again, I thought about why I had not seen him for so long and why had he not tried to talk to me sooner? It felt right just to be back with Gatsby. I thought about what life would have been like for the past five years if I had stayed loyal to Jay. We would be happily married, the happiest couple in the world, with many children and a huge house. We would have danced and been happy for every single day we would have been together. However, it is not this way, and I regretted not being with Gatsby. I regretted my current life. I pitied Tom, our love was hopeless. With him having a lady in New York, and myself now having Gatsby, what was the point of our pointless love? There, in that moment, that day with Gatsby, I knew I loved him. My love for Gatsby had never went away. Now I was thinking, how do I tell Tom that I want to spend the rest of my life with Jay Gatsby?